See You Around, Stranger

Hello, today was a nice day outside. Woke up this morning freezing. Today I lost touch with a longtime friend, he was actually the only friend I had for years, about 10. We first started talking in early or late 2009 and have been friends since. We were even calling each other brother and sister, he was like another little brother and I was like his big sister. I was there for him when he went through a bad breakup and he wanted to commit suicide. I talked him out of it and he was happy and doing better.
He was there for me when I was stressed, depressed, and after my own breakups. He would even help with money if I needed it, usually to pay bills and get groceries when we had nothing at all.
This year, he met a woman and I was happy for him, as long as he was happy too. Suddenly, when he got with her, we no longer talked anymore. He would say he would help with money issues and nothing, which is fine. It's not the first time actually. Anyway, the only time he would message was just to tell me about his relationship issues. Once again, that was alright too.
About a month or two into his new relationship, I learn that she has him on drugs. I had no problems with him and pot, I don't mind if others do smoke, it's an herb. But she also got him on coke and meth. I credit those to the reasons why he withdrew and it was very obvious that his girlfriend did not like me at all.
I wasn't gonna make him choose between our longtime friendship or his girlfriend because I already knew what he would choose.
It's hurtful to lose someone you care for to that, same with many other things. I haven't ever done drugs before because I've seen what it does to people.
I hope that he doesn't let it ruin his life, and I hope he has his best judgement in that relationship. That he quits the damn drugs before he's too far gone or before something happens.
It's his choices however, it is his life. I love him like one of my own siblings and like them, I don't want him to do drugs that will end badly. I just hope he does his best to be better.
I know I couldn't always be there for him, including now. The last relationship he was in, he didn't listen to anyone about her and it turned out she was cheating on him the entire time. Me trying to talk to him about his current relationship now and the drugs and repercussions won't do shit. He will (very) likely get pissed at me and tell me to let him live his own life.
I was like a big sister to him but now we're like strangers, so I gotta let him live on his own terms. He's an adult, he no longer needs me to be there.
I hope for him, happiness.

Love
Ariana

Accident Prone

I think I said I would write about that, didn't I? I consider myself accident prone. Every week I either do something stupid or not even realize what I'm doing until I get hurt. It's always been that way too.
When I was younger, I once put my right hand on the kitchen table and my other on the counter. I lifted myself and started swinging. Well, my hands slipped and I fell and busted my head very hard on the tile flooring of the kitchen. My mom was doing the laundry so she didn't do or say anything at all. I slowly got up and went into the living room. I don't remember what happened after, I guess I fell asleep maybe. Either way. I know I didn't get taken to the hospital.
Another time, I was outside playing with my sister. She decides to get the biggest book we have and she threw it at my face. I ended up with a black eye and to this day, a scar on my left eyelid. She gets mad these days when it's brought up.
While younger, I got the idea to cut slices of cheese. My little brother and sister were running around the kitchen. One of them bumped into me, the knife slipped, and I cut off a thin layer of skin on my right thumb. The rubbing alcohol was the worst.
Ended up using that again when I was probably about nine or ten. We were playing outside with these neighbor kids (whom had a mother that called me the bad influence) and the girl shoved me down on the gravel chunks. I ended up tearing up my right leg from my knee down to my ankle. Skin was torn and blood was running down my leg. I washed it off the best I could and my older brother poured the rubbing alcohol on my leg. Also had a small rock lodged in the side of my knee that I kept picking at til it fell out.
Was stung on my inner right wrist by a bee when I was around that same age. Maybe I provoked it or not, but it was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt. Once again, like all the other times, my mom didn't take me to the hospital. All she did was put something on it and used a bandana to wrap around it. The stinger fell out a week later while I was at school.
In school, I don't think many liked me because I was quiet and awkward. While going in from recess, a boy ran by, put out his right leg and tripped me. I ended up falling on my back on the sidewalk. Ended up getting to class a bit late because of that, and no one questioned where I was or why I had dust and tiny rocks on my back. Also slipped on ice on that sidewalk too. Busted my head and back.
Dropped my phone before while I was lying on the bed and it hit me in the throat. Was headbutted before on my mouth so I had a busted lip. Walked into a trailer hitch which hurt like hell. It was dark out and I was helping bring in groceries.
My sister told me to hurry the hell up and help. I run outside and didn't realize her guy's car had a trailer hitch and hit my left shin hard against it. Have a small indention from it. Got a scar on the back of my right thigh from a knife that someone left sitting on the couch.
Have tripped many times, usually in holes. Hit with bamboo before. Accidentally put my right hand in a fan before.
I was half sleep and it was cold. For some reason, my older brother took the cover off the fan. But when I reached over to shut it off, it rotated and I ended up putting my hand in there and cut my thumb open. That woke me up. Took a bit to clean thoroughly too because the dust from the fan blades was lodged under the cut. Been scratched up by cats and bitten by a neighbor's dog that was trying to get one of our cats.
Think I've only ever had to get stitches twice in my life. While with my third ex, my left face cheek swelled up, and it took him a week before he decided to take me to a doctor. Turned out one of my wisdom teeth was impacted and I apparently was close to death. So I had those pulled and ended up with stitches in my back left gum. The second time was after my son was born. I guess there was tearing. It kinda sucked because during the stitching process, the epidural was wearing off. Car rides suck with stitches. Same with labor pains, every bump was terrible.
After my son was born, and months later, I picked him up wrong, something happened with my left shoulder where I couldn't move it for days. I kept insisting to my ex husband I should probably go to the hospital. He didn't want to do it because he was in the middle of an online game. His dad shows up and tells me "sounds like a heart attack" and gave me aspirin. I knew it wasn't a heart attack, my heart was beating fine and I didn't have any other symptoms.
My niece before threw this heavy object, not sure what it was, but it hit me on my head and that hurt for days. Was hit with a pool cue, rocks thrown at me by my niece, electrocuted by a keyboard, power strip, and something else I thought of but now can't think of it.
While at a Starbucks with my son, ex husband, and his dad and grandmother, I had a very hot vanilla latte. My son decided to reach over for it and it spilled all over me. Legs burned but I was glad he was okay, none of it got him. I also got a free latte out of that.
For years, I managed to avoid ever being in any car accidents. All my siblings have been in one or more and so had my parents. That changed back on my birthday of this year. I was in the passenger seat, my last ex was driving, and my son was in the back, in his car seat and playing with a new toy I had gotten him. It was night and we were on our way to return him to his dad. Out of nowhere, a deer ran out. Instead of going head on like it's recommended here, my ex tried to swerve to the left. I reached back to make sure my son was okay and the deer hit my side.
I ended up with whiplash for weeks after, left shoulder pain, wrist pain, neck pain, and dizziness. Felt nauseated after that happened and I kept checking my son and repeatedly asking him if he was okay. He was fine, his only disappointment was that his drink spilled. That was it.
I know I probably shouldn't have reached back or anything, but his safety was my top concern and priority. I kept telling my ex i should probably be evaluated at least and he insisted I was fine because he studied first aid.
Almost a month later, I woke up, stretched and got this excruciating pain in my neck where it hurt to move or anything. It's better now, although occasionally I get pains still.
There will likely be more injuries later down the line. Very likely.
I'm just amazed I don't have back problems, concussions, or anything else. Aside from scars.

Love
Ariana

Online Dating: Mostly Cons

Alright, at one point, most people check out online dating. Even more so these days, everything's online or requires an internet connection: Netflix, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Hulu, Directv, and so on. Including dating. Not gonna lie, I've tried online dating... and still am, but seriously gonna cease that soon.
Back in my teens, I didn't ever date. I was that shy girl that had social anxiety and kept to herself, drew a lot and kept headphones in my ears once my oldest brother got me an mp3 player for Christmas. So, I came across as this weird, odd, strange girl that no one liked. Wore dark a lot too. So I had no luck on meeting guys in person. I did get asked out by a guy in my class, but I automatically assumed it was a prank so I shook my head and said no. Another bad experience was my final day at the technology center in 2010, a guy from my class asked me out. I ended up saying yes and he told me he'd pick me up around 4.
I got stood up. To this day, my sister still makes fun of me for that, usually when we're arguing about relationships, she always tosses in "at least I've never been stood up".
Online dating is how I met my last three exes. And upon trying online dating again, I see how flawed and scary it is. I usually try the sites that are suggested to me: okcupid, meetme, pof. Well, just those actually. And each one I have had bad experiences. More so on meetme, which I don't recommend. Even if you're trying to just find new friends, it's not the place to go.
Before on okcupid, there was this guy that had his profile photo blacked out and he would message consistently. And he kept asking me where I lived. Keep in mind, he lived in another state on the east coast. Next thing I know, on his location, it showed Tulsa. Then Hobart and Lawton. All areas I have lived in or go to often. I ended up quitting for some time.
On pof (Plenty Of Fish), the guys on there were mostly asking for hookups and talking dirty. Which is to be expected.
Meetme... there's plenty wrong with that. I have been sent dick pics, offers from couples, guys offering me a lot of money to sleep with them or make porn, guys offering to get me pregnant, guys asking me to marry them, guys from other countries asking me to marry them so they can stay here, a guy i knew in school wanting to sleep with me behind his wife's back, I have had guys call me names, threaten to hurt or kill me if I don't sleep with them or meet them (never do either way), and had them tell me they're interested but don't want to be with me if I have a kid. And most of this is guys around my own age or a year or two younger than me.
Online dating is not for everyone. Which, apparently, is not for me. I guess they assume since I'm petite and nice, they can bully me into what they want me to do. Then usually I bring up my interests, one being knife throwing. Sometimes they stop or they weirdly get into it even more. Had a guy once before tell me blood turns him on.
I think most guys show an interest because they see me as this fragile girl that looks nice, polite, kind. But when they learn of my interests, hobbies, and favorite movies/shows, they are usually genuinely surprised. Most stop talking to me at that point.
They usually expect me to say reality tv is my favorite thing, that romantic movies are, and probably whatever hobbies and interests. And, I get this a lot, a fan of pop music.
It's more like this though: horror movies, comedies, action, knife throwing, drawing, writing, playing musical instruments, rock and metal music. Likely more on that later. The Walking Dead, Family Guy, and of course, Jackass. I think the last one throws a lot of them off or something because they see it as gross and don't understand why I like it.
Another thing that happens often when it comes to online dating is when guys ask me if I have ever seen The Notebook. I have not, one believed I was lying before, but no I haven't ever seen it. There is also when they compare me to my sister. And when I tell them my name, they always say "like Ariana Grande!". So, I'm to the point of telling people to just call me Ana, it's my nickname. Used to be Ari, but not anymore. Guess why.
You'll meet a lot of different people when it comes to online dating. Most may get into it a lot, others probably use it to flirt, get money, or even just sleep around with others.
But, if you are more like I am where you just want a real relationship with actual love (and if you're a single parent like I am, want someone who will accept that you have a child or more) and someone that has similar interests, long lasting love, it likely won't be for you.
I don't recommend it for teens either. Please, do not try online dating because you don't know what you will run into. I often see it in the news where teens meet someone online and it turns bad. Be more focused on surviving through school than worrying about being the only one not getting dates or anything. Hell, I didn't date in school... I stayed focused on my favorite school subjects and music. And drawing. Plus my other oldest brother would always tell me to wait on trying to date.
So, like I said, online dating has pros and cons... mostly cons on my part. I guess the pro to it for me was if I hadn't tried, then I wouldn't have met my ex husband and in turn, I wouldn't have had my only child. That's something I won't ever regret. But the cons are not worth it. Just let it happen whenever, don't try to rush it.
You never know when you will meet "the one" if you're out in public or something.
For me, dating in person is difficult because I live out in the damn country and the nearest town here has the worst people to try dating. Plus most of those guys know my sister.
Try online dating at your own risk, it's not all that it's portrayed as in those eharmony and farmers only commercials.

Love
Ariana

How Is Everyone

Hope everyone is doing good today. My day has been a bit of the same. Woke up with neck pain, back pain, and tension behind my right eye. Made more coffee, and did the dishes again. I ordered some dvds a week ago. And because they aren't in yet, my older brother is pissed at me for it. Makes it worse because my sister decided to make a remark about how I could have used his card to get myself crap, so I'm being ignored at this point. I'm not one for stealing or anything, but he believes it I guess.
Was gonna do some writing, but lost the motivation. Currently hanging out in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, headphones on, and listening to music to get me in a better mood if possible... it's not quite working.
May watch Jackass on my phone, lately that's my motivation for a better mood. Been depressed since the divorce, not because of my ex, but because he got primary custody of our son. For some time, I would listen to music and it would get me out of that depression. Lately music doesn't do anything so I watch my favorite show/movie (Jackass) and I feel better.
Reminds me, I had a dream last night that I had my son, and we were living out on the streets yet doing well.
What else is new... not much actually. No new writings, no exciting life details to report on. Aside from my accident prone moments. Had to cut into the calk around the bathroom sink and when I got to the corner part, the box cutter I was using got stuck. I tried pulling it and it suddenly slammed downward and I hit my knuckles down hard on the porcelain. Hit my elbow too and burned my hand. That's pretty much the only exciting thing that happens to me.
Learned my son has a temper, haha. Called to check on him yesterday and I was told a kid at his school shoved him out of the way to take his seat. My kid didn't cry, he didn't go tell the teacher, or anything. He shoved the kid back harder. My mom insists it's the Comanche, meanwhile my ex once before insisted it's the Irish. Love my son. He's the world to me.
That's about it for what's new with me, likely do another post in a bit or soon after this.

Love
Ariana

Fan Of Jackass and Not Ashamed Of It

So, I finally got Jackass on dvd. The complete movie and tv collection. I was pretty happy when I got it because I used to love watching the tv series when it was MTV. I'll admit that from watching it, my two younger siblings and i would get the bright idea to try our own stunts. Not as dangerous like they did. We took turns pushing each other down a hill on a push mower. Didn't affect our lives in a bad way either, hell, when we didn't watch it years later, we were hitting each other with bamboo for fun when I was 18 years old. And probably like other girls (maybe), I watched it because I had a crush on Johnny Knoxville. I know I'm not the only one. These days however, I like Ehren Mcghehey.
But, with liking and enjoying Jackass, the movies and show, I do get criticized for it. Guys don't understand how or why I would even like the Jackass franchise, my ex told me they were too insane for him to enjoy watching. My mom finds the series very gross (I remember the awkwardness that came from watching Jackass Number Two with my siblings and mom) and my siblings these days pick on me for liking the series/movies. It involves name calling, calling me gay for liking it, weird and claim something is wrong with me.
It sucks, but why should I care what they and others think? It bothers me because they bring it up every chance they get, I guess their way of trying to get me to no longer watch it.
I love the franchise. They make me laugh, make me feel bad for them when someone gets hurt, and just helps me forget my problems in my life. It's like an escape from the stress and depression I have every day. It also makes me nostalgic for the early 2000s when I used to watch it on tv.
Maybe I'm immature, and most would probably say it's unladylike of me, but... I love the humor. Usually when someone can make me laugh, it's what I find most attractive. And in the case of Jackass, it's what I find hilarious.
Not sure why Jackass would make someone consider me gay for watching either.
I'm a girl.
The show is primarily guys.
Good looking guys might I add. I mean, c'mon: Johnny Knoxville, Ehren Mcghehey, Steve O, Chris Pontius, Wee Man, Preston Lacy, Dave England, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn (may he rest in peace). Maybe some of the stunts done would make most uncomfortable, but... It's funny. As I read in another article before, for girls, there's at least one of them guys you will find hot. Sounds like a challenge if you think about it.
I used to like Johnny Knoxville, think it was his accent, that southern accent. Now I like Ehren Mcghehey, or Danger Ehren,  and his "Safety First". He's a handsome man that encourages safety.
Think the only time I got grossed out was the Vomit Omelet. Still watched it. It only killed my appetite for a bit.
Jackass may not be for everyone, but it's usually something that I recommend. If you like dirty, crude, offensive, sexual humor. It has been years since the series ended, same with the movie series; I call it the best that was on MTV (alongside Viva La Bam). These days, I watch Ridiculousness. Not all the time, unfortunately, but I do when I can.
I don't think there will ever be a replacement for Jackass. Those men were daring and challenging for the entertainment of others. Aside from laughing at the stunts, I also felt bad/sympathy for them. So... there is proof I'm not completely cold hearted.
... Well, then again, I wasn't really cold hearted at all to begin with.
The point is, there is nothing wrong with Jackass. It wasn't really a bad influence on me either. I have scars, but not from doing stunts around the house. It was just me being accident prone. Accidentally running into a trailer hitch hurts like hell. I still have the small indention in my shin. Those stories are for another time.
I enjoy Jackass, and likely always will, because it makes me forget my everyday stresses, the depression of hardly getting to see my son, and reminding me of how simple things were in the early 2000s when people enjoyed that kind of humor.

Love
Ariana Torralba

It's Been Awhile

Hello again, it's been some time, hasn't it? Not much has happened lately aside from accidents. I think I told about the whole "hitting the deer" thing from back in March on my birthday. The whiplash lasted for weeks, the dizziness ended by the end of the week, and one day I stretched and my neck popped in such a painful way that I couldn't move my head much. Still thankful my son was okay. I got either burned or electrocuted a few weeks ago. Our window a/c was dripping water and it got on the power strip. It was supposed to have shut off on its own, but I guess that particular one was faulty. I had gone to try and hit the off switch but ended up hurting my hand.
Single again. And the laptop screen got damaged so I haven't done much writing these days. Finally got Jackass on dvd (more on that subject after this post) and attempting online dating again, but I've noticed how different trying to date is now that I'm older. It's a pain. My sister tells me I should find a sugar daddy, I'd prefer love, not for the wrong reasons. And most guys who show an interest are only wanting hookups.
The advice for trying to date at 27 years old? It'll be difficult, but don't try to be with the first guy who claims he wants to be with you from now on. It's usually false, or it is when it happens to me.
Haven't seen my son in some time, but heard he's doing good in school. He has a girlfriend apparently, is doing good, and likes to do pranks and jokes on people.
That's about it for now, not much goes on in my life these days. I thought I'd update on what's going on here.

Love
Ariana Torralba

Linkin Park Topic

I have been a fan since the start like I said before. I remember hearing One Step Closer on 100.5 The Katt and asking my mom if I could have the cd for Christmas. Months later, I got it along with a cd player. I remember listening to their music when I got sick from my older sister's cooking, when a hornet stung me on the wrist, when I injured/tore up my right leg. For a bit in my teens, I checked out other bands. Not many made me feel better like Linkin Park's music. If anything I got depressed. After my first breakup that was verbally abusive, and when he tried to break into the house late one night, I was afraid to be alone, to go anywhere or answer my phone that I got a new one. Linkin Park's music helped me get over that debilitating fear my first ex left. I listened to their music after finding out my second ex was cheating on me (found out on Valentine's day of all days). After my third breakup, Roads Untraveled helped me through the process. With my ex husband, I couldn't really listen to their music or My Chemical Romance due to him complaining or jealousy. Yeah, he got jealous over those bands, Linkin Park more so. I couldn't listen to their music or hang up my poster (think he threw it away after the divorce). And we got in an argument that I couldn't have any Linkin Park songs play at the wedding unless he could have Ariana Grande's music play... I chose The Little Things Give You Away. He also accused me of wanting to name our son after the drummer since I was wanting to name him Robert. Instead he picked the name Michael, he didn't take into account that's Mike Shinoda's name. After the divorce and custody arrangement, I was depressed and cried every day cause I didn't get to keep my son. I wanted to give up so many times, but once again, Linkin Park's music helped me through everything. Even with writing. The SGC characters (if you read When It Ends) I had based on them, kinda like a dedication thanks for influencing my life. The news about Chester was like a hit to the gut. My sister told me I was in denial for the first 30 minutes. I couldn't listen to their music for awhile cause I wouldn't feel right or sick. Found One More Light at the store, took me a couple of days to listen to it and then there was comfort. Hearing about his death was like losing a family member. I'm sure other fans know what I mean. It makes you sad and lonely, but now, listening to the music gives more meaning, more to everything and makes me think of how his singing comforted me. They were the reason I wanted to get into music. Perhaps they are the reason why I never got into drinking, partying, drugs, or smoking. I wish I could have gone to a concert and taken my son when he was alive. Instead, I bought a Linkin Park shirt for him.
Chester Bennington will be missed by all who he meant a lot to. And I'm proud to be part of the Linkin Park Family and to have been influenced by his vocals and humor.

Love
Ariana

Welcome Back

Hi again everyone across the world. Hope things are going alright just as I hope things are alright around here. Been so busy with writing my screenplays, pitching them too. Maybe one day in the future, one of them will be in theaters. Or on DVD. It's hard work, despite the guys who told me it doesn't count as work. And if not then hey, I'm just dedicated and enjoy a challenge. Anyways, I finally get to see my son in five days!! Can't wait, the last time I saw him is nearly 300 days ago. Yes, I'm keeping track. Was thinking if my scripts don't sell, maybe I'll invest in a good camera and film them myself, only issue would be finding people to act. What else... Been reading the news, getting annoyed, and took time off of Linkin Park for a week due to the passing of their vocalist, Chester Bennington. If you know me well enough, I have been a Linkin Park fan since the start, their music helped me through hard times like illness, injuries, breakups, divorce. And the song Burn It Down was playing the first time I felt my son kick. More on my Linkin Park fandom later.
But, hopefully my scripts sell, been struggling for years and ready for it to change. Thinkin of listening to My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park to continue writing.
Began randomly thinking earlier, I would love a dream guy who is like Rob Bourdon or Frank Iero.
Or Keanu Reeves. Then I thought who am I kidding, no guy could amount to Keanu Reeves. 😔
I am with someone currently, just don't get to see him often like I would like.
Remember, feel free to follow me on my social medias:
@Ariana_Torralba on Twitter
@ariana_torralba91 on Instagram
When The Dead Came page on Facebook
ArianaTorralbaWriter page on Facebook

Love
Ariana

Business As Usual

Been so long. Also been hot here. I have been busy writing and promoting my movie script to the point of too much coffee. Some say I'm inspiring to them, probably for doing what I do. Why I do it? Make a future for my son. And to no longer struggle, it's a pain. I'm sure many others can understand.
Trying to use my talents as work. Writing, drawing, sewing, knitting. The idea is to create a website to promote my writings, but also sell my cartoons and handmade dolls. These dolls will be based off characters from When The Dead Came, if you seen my other blog you may know that book I wrote.
What helps to keep motivation is setting goals, music, and coffee. My goals are difficult but a challenge is good. And for the current book I'm writing, My Chemical Romance's music is highly influencing my work.
As for the script, still promoting. Hope it works out, need this change after years of work and difficulties. Plus, I miss my son to no end.
I will succeed. Not gonna quit now.
Keep up with me on my social media pages: Twitter (@Ariana_Torralba), Instagram (@ariana_torralba91), Facebook page When The Dead Came series and page Ariana Torralba (need to update it, it's for other work I do).

Love
Ariana

A Few Things

Good day everyone. I didn't sleep at all last night, only had around four or five hours of sleep. Been working on more of the When The Dead Came Series, and beginning tomorrow will be a free promotion until the 22nd, this time for the book Apocalypse World/Survive. Lately been sharing parts/excerpts on my Instagram. Been working on promoting again. Also overly hungry. I would sing a song for someone if I could get a little food. Which says a lot, I don't ever sing for anyone except my son. Like a guy told me, there is a reason they're called starving artists.
Maybe things will turn around... I really hope. There are times I think about going back to Tulsa so I can find another job easier but I don't want to be so far away from my son. Then, there are times I want to pack some things and walk away until I reach the town where my son is, and try to save up for a place there. Instead, stuck here, far from job opportunities, which is why I write. Takes time, I know, but still. It's stressful and tiring. Quite the struggle. Exhausted. It's alright though, there's a reason I set "unrealistic" goals that are complex and tough, for the challenge. And to get the chance to be a mom again. The dream used to be a mom and wife, then both end up taken from me. Miss my little boy.
Anyways, Apocalypse World/Survive will be free from tomorrow and until the 22nd on Kindle. Will be sharing the link tomorrow.
Follow along on Twitter (@Ariana_Torralba), Instagram (@ariana_torralba91), and Facebook page When The Dead Came and Ariana Torralba.

Love
Ariana

And Now, My Rant

Okay, ahead of time, apologies to those that get mad at this: What the hell is a basic bitch, bad bitch, and whatever else they call themselves these days? Hearing young women call themselves these now days makes me feel old and I'm only 26! What the hell? I thought women didn't like being called a bitch in any way, and now they're proud to call themselves it?? Hell, I got pissed and upset when my ex husband called me a bitch for a dumb argument back then. What is a basic one? Seriously, is it supposed to make them intimidating or supposed to attract more guys? Come on! Around where I live, you hear this often. And all the young girls that post online and call themselves that shit, they're proud of it and usually caption provocative photos of themselves with it. Same with this "badass bitch" shit they toss around. Or saying they're a savage bitch or lit bitch or savage lit bitch. Doesn't make sense. There's one girl here that practically prostitutes herself and goes on about being a good girl then says she's a savage bitch. Why be proud of shit like that? It's common these days, there's girls in this town around here that call themselves that crap because they think it's cool. And proud to call themselves crazy bitches and try to take other women's men. I don't know, maybe I'm old fashioned or just that lame.
I don't drink, smoke, party, or do drugs and others find that boring and lame. And weak.
But hey, I would rather be lame, boring, old fashioned, and different than some girl that thinks it's badass to harass and threaten others and call themselves a basic bitch and sleep around.
Doing all of that doesn't make them a badass. It just lowers themselves into something that isn't worth it. Not worth risking their lives to get themselves hurt, or to catch something that they must live with. Or worth losing their lives and kids.
Definitely not worth threatening others just to make themselves look like they're worth shit. Same with the "gangs" in that same town. They're always threatening others that they think they can attack.
And that my friends, is why I learn self defense. Not going to allow some asshole guy or "basic bitch" to harm me. Or my son if I have him with me.
Motherhood,it has made me stronger and more defensive. Never worried about shit like that until after my son was born. He makes it worth it. Seriously, I practice self defense and knife throwing because of him. That's all, all of that was building up in my mind.

Love
Ariana

Hello Everyone

Greetings again to everyone across the world. Still have allergies and been trying to enter a contest, but the file won't transfer to my phone and my laptop keeps going to a metered network, so, needed to stop before I lose it. Other than that, doing great. Can't have my son for Easter which sucks. Probably can't for mother's day either. It's difficult. Anyways, I have nothing else to do today.
Been on my social media accounts off and on. On my Instagram, I was actually told I'm an inspiration, which is pretty cool. Never thought I could be inspiring and interesting, always thought I was boring.
On my Instagram, I usually share random pics. Some are what I come across on my Facebook that make me laugh (there's one of a knocked over portapotty that reads Your Bad Day Has Just Started), pics off and on of memories with my son, usually with a story to the photo. Few pics of myself, I don't do many selfies. Pictures of my makeup art and my art in general. So if you're interested in back-stories' and Linkin Park, my Instagram should be fascinating enough.
Twitter is my way of failing at being funny. Originally, it was for promoting my writings only, but then started sharing my thoughts and it went from there (one tweet having been asking "I thought the duck face thing was over?"). Seriously, people still do it, see if often on my Facebook page. (another rant to share there that I don't get).
And of course, the Facebook pages for When The Dead Came and my other writings in general. I don't really give out my personal Facebook.
In the next blog post, I intend on letting out a rant I hope others will understand.
Remember to follow on Twitter (@Ariana_Torralba), Instagram (@ariana_torralba91), and Facebook pages titled When The Dead Came and Ariana Torralba

Love
Ariana

Another Day Again

Good day to all across the world. Been busy, writing scripts, pitching scripts, sick with allergies again, babysitting my niece, and had slow data. Got more on my phone but it's still slow. Also got my late birthday gifts: Bill and Ted double feature DVD, Detroit Rock City, Dummy, Aftermath. Also learning I shouldn't make pancakes. I can make difficult foods, but not simple pancakes. Trying different heat settings, they burn on the outside, still not finished on the inside. It sucks. My mom says food is food, since we don't have much right now, but I already know my siblings will complain. That's why I love cooking for my son, he isn't picky. Used to love cooking. I can make French toast, scrambled eggs, corned beef hash, omelets, stew, soups, pastas, baked fish, hot wings, dumplings, cakes, brownies, pies, fried bread, so on. But pancakes? No.
Still wishing I had my own place and my son, miss cooking for him. I remember when I was married, I made him and his dad omelets and corned beef hash with a side of scrambled eggs.
When I was pregnant, I made a big plate of deviled eggs... My husband at the time and I ate them all haha.
Kinda miss when I was pregnant, was around 130 lbs. Now I'm back to where I was before. Always been thin, so pregnancy was a great time for me. Sorry, rambling on. Currently making jacked up pancakes and watching Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Having trouble coming up with a cover to draw for the romantic comedy drama I'm nearing the end of, not sure. Also awaiting for the news that my friends baby is born. I made a hat for the little guy, got him a giraffe rattle too. Wish I could have more kids. Technically I can, but I don't want to go the route other women around here do. I would prefer to be with someone long-term. Meanwhile my sister suggested I get with a sugar daddy... Like I told others before, it wouldn't be right.
Sure more young women these days are getting sugar daddies to spoil them, but I can't bring myself to do that too. Seems wrong especially to use a guy just to live the luxury life. Do need help with things, God knows that, but I don't want to find a rich guy to do it all the easy way. One guy even offered to help me get full custody of my son, but I didn't want to use him. I don't know, maybe I want to do improvements on my own.
Either way, I have hope for things to get better. Maybe one day my books will sell a lot or one of my scripts will. Not giving up.
Remember to follow along on Twitter (@Ariana_Torralba), Instagram (@ariana_torralba91), and Facebook. There is a new Facebook page I started for my writings as Ariana Torralba, a author page.

Love
Ariana

Good Day

Hope everyone has had a good day. Or at least an alright day. Today, I became 26 years old... Yeah. Been alright day too. I got woken up this morning, my niece decided to throw a ball around the living room and I ended up hit in the face. Mouth bled a little, but not for long. After that, spent all day listening to Linkin Park. Still am now. Tried spending time outside for fresh air and the wind has been strong all day, so I ended up with dirt and grass in my eyes. Tried catching a metal lid too that someone left on the coffee pot top, ended up hitting my hand on the corner of the counter. Spent time outside a moment ago to enjoy the night air and seen three shooting stars.
Other than that, it's been a good day. No more than usual and same amount of accident prone moments. Called my ex husband's grandma earlier to talk to my son, but he was still asleep.
Listening to Linkin Park's song Until It Breaks currently. Had a discussion earlier how it's hard finding someone with similar interests as yourself. My ex husband didn't like Linkin Park at all, hope to meet someone one day that enjoys their music too. Not many Linkin Park fans around here... Or in Oklahoma for that matter. Same with guys that want to date me. I get asked out a lot by guys from out of state, but they don't want a long distance relationship. Yet, no guys asking me out who live in Oklahoma. Irony or something. Other than that, pretty good day.
Back to writing tomorrow I guess.

Love
Ariana

New News

Hello everyone, hope all is well. As you may know, I had created a Facebook page for When The Dead Came sometime ago. Then realized I probably should've done the logical thing and create a page for all my writings. Therefore, I finally did it. It's new and it'll be an alternative to my blog, since we all know how bad I am at updating.
On the new Facebook page, I will share free promotions, new books, news on my work, maybe in the future some contests of some kind or something. Movie scripts, poetry, my work in general. Maybe it'll turn out better than When The Dead Came page, that one didn't get as big.
So, please, feel free to check the page out (link below). It's a work in progress.

Love
Ariana

https://www.facebook.com/arianatorralbawriter/

Busy and Hot Today

Hello everyone, hope your weekend has been great, now it's Monday. It has been very hot and humid here, not sure about the rest of you out there. Have allergies again! I swear, when possible and I can get full custody of my son, would love to move out of Oklahoma. The weather fluctuates so much, hot and windy to cold and raining. Sometimes below freezing and then the next it's in the damn 80s or 90s, high pollen counts and dust. Miserable. But, been writing No One Else.
Now, this book won't be a horror, no gore or strong violence. It's a comedy/drama/romance. Well, maybe dark comedy. Apparently plenty of swearing, says the word fuck over 59 times so far, even more of others. Writing it where I channel in all emotions, including anger I bottle up... Which happens everyday here. Such as a moment ago.
No One Else also has a blend of realism. Some of the things in the book are based on what's happened in my life: Divorce, custody and how that makes the character dealing with it feel, pregnancies (only had one pregnancy in my life, so I channeled that in), struggles, inner feelings of anger, sadness, hate, regrets, happiness, and loneliness. The humor I try to use to feel better, struggles of finding a job here, and how it feels when you have been cheated on, lied to about love, broken trust, and bottling it all up until that breaks free.
Should be interesting. It takes place in Los Angeles (instead of Oklahoma), and focuses on six different people in that city. Should be ready soon. I gotta think up a cover for it. That seems to be the difficult part. Some days I don't feel like drawing.
Hope you all have a great day and as usual, feel free to contact me or hell, even follow on my social media accounts. You know the drill:
Twitter (@Ariana_Torralba)
Instagram (@Ariana_Torralba91)
And When The Dead Came page on Facebook

Love
Ariana

Free Promotion

I do a horrible job at updating my blogs regularly. Anyways, hope everyone has been well. Like the headline reads, Free Promotion! Beginning tomorrow and until March 13th, on Amazon, When It Ends/Aftermath will be free. Like I said on my whenthedeadcame blog, if you have Kindle and haven't read the last book, check it out. You get to find out what happened with Avery, Alex and the others, new enemies, more deaths/losses (most regrettable death of a character I wish I hadn't killed off being Justin, Alex's brother), plenty of action, violence, swearing, and the introduction of the SGC finally.
As well as a character that has not been properly introduced in this series, he is from another book I wrote years ago which I will publish soon. He has a story on previous outbreaks.
Meanwhile, I have also been working on a romantic comedy drama that will be available soon. Since my birthday is coming up on March 23rd, I'll be doing another free promotion.
Remember, from tomorrow and until the 13th, When It Ends/Aftermath is free on Amazon Kindle. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@Ariana_Torralba), Instagram (@Ariana_Torralba91), and When The Dead Came page on Facebook.

Love
Ariana

Another Shot

Hope everyone is having a great day(night). Aside from my rant earlier, and getting my frustrations and anger I bottle up out, I am gonna dislike myself for this. But, attempting online dating... Again. Miss being with someone and I know I said earlier I was gonna give up, but I also realize I don't really give up easily. I still keep trying. Same with trying to find "the one". Failed the first four times. So, I think I can actually do better next time. First ex was the "bad boy" type. He turned out to be an ass and loved to verbally abuse me. Second ex was a little older and a bad boy too. He ended up cheating on me. Third ex was the more realistic thinking type that wasn't ready to have kids. He claimed I got jealous easy, but I did turn out right about his female friend who apparently hated me. And my ex husband was the gamer type. He divorced me for being "too perfect" for him. Not sure that's possible. I think he met someone else on his game streaming. So, sums up: No more bad boys, probably not the realistic type, and I guess no gamers. Not sure where to go from there. Would like a guy who's ready to be in a serious relationship. Have more kids, never wanted my son to be an only child. What else... Loyal. Funny. Similar interests in music and movies. Maybe a musician? Could always play bass or drums with him. Someone I could trust. Someone who would accept my son. Dancing. I like dancing, never been able to with any of my exes. Didn't even dance at the wedding. And protective. Unfortunately, there's really not many guys here that have those qualities. Maybe long distance. I already know I'd be loyal. So, trying dating sites again. Tried okcupid before. No luck and ended up with a stalker. Tried meetme and ended up with guys harassing me and making threats. Trying plenty of fish, but no luck either. Don't get out much, no where here to go and trust me, never want to meet guys here. Especially in this county. But, not giving up. I'm sure the right guy is out there somewhere. Same for everyone else that is reading this. If you're single too and feel like giving up, you'll find the one. He or she is out there somewhere. Never put up with abuse either (verbal or physical, that's how close it got during my marriage) and apparently, not all bad boys are worth staying with.

Love
Ariana

Exhausted

Hey everyone. Been awhile (again) and been trying hard. Probably too hard, exhausted and stressed out. Been writing nearly nonstop: Stories, poems, movie scripts, books. Pitching ideas to companies and agents. No responses (probably doesn't help with slow data, I don't get all my email). Severe insomnia, too much coffee. Tired of pushing myself so much. Need a change here. I want to get my own place, get my son. I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving and it causes depression like no other. Tired of my family getting mad at each other cause things don't go right. Tired of struggling with money and trying to keep groceries here. Then hear my mom bitch at us for no groceries or no money to pay the damn fucking bills. I'm tired of it all! Is writing even worth it when nothing comes of it? Sorry, stressed. Didn't even go to sleep til four or five this morning. Keeping trying to do writing and have privacy, but living with family after divorce, there is no privacy. Fuck. I really miss my son. I'll be happy when things work out finally and I can live in my own home with him. To hell with finding love, didn't work out the first four times, why would it again? Been asked out by guys out of state, but I'm not going anywhere without my little boy. There are days when I want to leave here, keep walking until I make it to the town where my son is just to spend some time with him. Work small jobs and sleep in the streets until I can get a place. That's how far I would go for him. Exhausted and ready to snap one day. When will things finally turn around? It's been a struggle for 26 years.

Love
Ariana

Brand New

Hello. I seem to get in the mood to post late at nights. Anyways, hope everyone is doing good, if not, then I hope you're day/night gets better. Been busy lately, got my gift shopping done, cleaning done, helped with my niece when she was sick, and kept up with The Walking Dead (returns February 12th!!). And, worked on new books. So far, I plan on releasing a new one soon. It's a psychological suspense that's supposed to play on the mind. Drew the front cover, which you can see the front cover on my Instagram at username Ariana_Torralba91 . It's violent too, but most of my horror and suspense usually are. Good way to get any bottled up anger out. Writing is my anger management... So is music. And coffee. To let you know, it's not a zombie apocalypse book. But has about the same amount of violence, gore, and swearing as When The Dead Came series.
Another book I'm working on is opposite of the suspense. It's a mix of comedy/romance/drama, just to take a break from the gore and violence. Plan on releasing that on on Valentine's Day.
Look forward to a little more about the psychological suspense book.

Love
Ariana