Hello again. It has been so hot here everyday. Did some cleaning yesterday, to take a break from writing, and found a few dimes and pennies in my belongings. Put away most of my son's clothes. Can't wait for the day to come when I can see him again. Or the day I can try for full custody. I miss him so much that it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Also stated before that I would give up coffee, writing books/stories, and a kidney for him.
I'm sure there are a few readers on here that can understand what that is like, or knows what divorce is like. I was actually advised to wait a year to move on, been divorced for about ten months now. Not bad at all.
I always wanted to be a mom, these days though I feel less like a mom and more like how I was before ever being in any relationships: Dull, shy, and that awkward teen again.
I don't know. Divorce pretty much screwed me up. I can't even bring myself to attempt flirting with guys interested in me because I'm afraid of getting close to someone else. And I suck at flirting. Well, most guys also seem to run away when I mention I'm a single mother to a little boy.
I love my son very much that I'm sure I want to give up relationships so I can just focus on him. He's a smart kid for two years old. He knows numbers, colors, American muscle cars, not picky, loves playing the drums, enjoys How To Train Your Dragon, listens, helps clean, compassionate, likes football and hockey, insects, good music. Maybe if I can get full custody one day, I think I can do it as a single mom. I'm quite sure I can do it.
I'll also admit, I tried dating sites, but that is not the wisest choice.
So at this point, I'm gonna wait it out. Wait for the right guy to find me. Judging by my four failed relationships, it's wise for me to wait, haha.
Once again, just blogging my random thoughts. As you can tell, it jumped a lot.
But yeah, I'll be quite happy when I can finally hold my little boy again.
Love
Ariana
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