The Walking Dead Rant

You know, I went on a rant the other day on my Facebook. It was over the Parental Control thing having problems about the violence that was on the season 7 premiere episode of The Walking Dead.
They complained about the violence, gore, and whatnot and that it should change its rating.
My rant about it was that there are many ways to deal with it.
1. Change the channel
2. Turn it off
3. Don't subscribe to the channel
4. Satellite and cable offers the option to block access to things like that
5. If you have a problem with it then why are you even watching it??

If you follow my Twitter, then you may know I'm a fan of the show. Have been since season 1 and you might know too that gore doesn't bother me. But, anyways, they have all those options, yet choose to complain. Come on! There's worse out there on tv. There are shows with nudity, drugs, and even cartoons that have hidden adult content. Hell, I heard American Horror Story had a moment where a character decided to bash another character in the head, the Parental Television Content people didn't complain. Yet The Walking Dead had Negan beat two characters to death and they act like it's the worst thing ever.
Turn on your parental lock on your television and stop bitching. It's a television show that has always had violence and gore.
Short from that, the first episode was great. The makeup effects were amazing and the actors all did a great job at creating the fear towards Negan.
Usually I don't like the villain in movies and TV shows, but Negan pretty much drew me in with the charm and wit. Plus I'll admit, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a very handsome man... And I do not usually say that or think that much about older gentlemen.
Will miss Glenn and Abraham. Glenn's sense of security and love for Maggie. And Abraham's humorous choice of words and strength. I look forward to the rest of this new season.

Love
Ariana

Rambling On

Hope everyone had a good Halloween. Those that enjoy it that is. Coming up soon: Thanksgiving and Christmas! Growing up, Halloween was my favorite time of the year. Since 2013 (when I was pregnant), it has been Christmas. For my son last year, I ordered him a How To Train Your Dragon toy box, a Toothless dragon plush toy, a Toothless dragon bank, and a Hiccup and Toothless toy set. He loved those toys. This year I want to get him a replica Lucille bat. Anyways, growing up, we hardly had a decent Christmas. Usually we didn't get gifts. One year my older sister had wrapped old toys in newspaper and put them under the tree just so my little brother, little sister and I could unwrap gifts.
Back in my teens, I would go through my belongings and wrap up things I didn't need anymore. Then place them under the tree just so my family had something to look forward to.
Since the percap check comes once a year, I now get at least one gift for everyone. Well, more than one for my son. Around that time too, I usually bake pumpkin pies. I have learned my lesson though to always plan gifts and backup gifts.
Usually when I have a specific gift in mind and I make it to the store, the specific gift is never there or available.
Sorry about going on about Christmas already, couldn't think of something interesting to talk about.

Love
Ariana

What I Would Give Up For My Son

Instead of posting about my day, cause it won't be different from any other day, I spent time calling to check on my son and tried very hard not to cry on the phone. I haven't had a chance to see him since April. Family won't help. It's killing me inside, and quite depressed, so while sitting outside alone and crying it out, I told myself what all I would give up just for him/ to have him. Here is the things:
I would give up coffee for him
I would give up a kidney, lung, and an arm just for him.
I would give up the ability to speak
I would give up trying to find the one
I would give up the ability to hear
I would give up all my movie scripts I wrote over the years
I would give up my shitty writing
I would give up music
I would give up my status in the Comanche Nation Tribe if I could have him
I would give up my percap I get once a year
I would give up drawing
I would travel to hell and back if it means I could have him
I would give up whatever "good looks" guys say I have for him
I would give up the ability to have more kids
I would risk my life for him
I would give up The Walking Dead
I would give up all my belongings for him
I would give up video games
I would give up doing makeup effects
I would give up any shred of talent I have
I would give up the internet and social media
I would give up my personality
I would give up my heart
And I would give up my health just to have my son back for good.
I'm not sure if other single parents feel this way when they can't see or have their kids, but that's how I feel. My greatest fear is he will forget me. I hardly ever get to talk to him on the phone either. Everytime I call, I'm told he's sleeping or outside playing.
Michael is my only son, and I love him to death. Back when I was pregnant, his dad didn't want him. Yet, he has him now. My sister complains that she misses her daughter when she goes back to her dad. But it seems more painful when you can't see your son at all and can't talk to him. That is my everyday struggle since the divorce back in November of last year. And yes, it's a hell I'm stuck in. I started writing and publishing just for him and no one likes it. Why not either? To me lately it's shitty stories. It's a damn waste and it's not getting me anywhere or any way closer to the goal of being able to afford a lawyer and to get my son. Trying to become an author is another failed goal. I'm sure my oldest brothers knew that even in death.

Ariana

Short From Frustrations...

Aside from the bottled up anger, I decided to try online dating again. No success however. Again. I don't know. Most guys interested are from other states or countries, they don't want a long distance relationship, can't move until I can actually get full custody of my little boy. I'm sure I can move away, but I don't want to do anywhere without him. That kid keeps me happy, last time I seen him was back in April.
I seem to attract guys that don't really have a sense of humor. Joked with a guy earlier, his response was "that's not funny"... Tried joking when I was with my first ex back in 2010, but he wanted me to not ever joke with him again. Douche.
Sense of humor is the key to me. You laugh and joke and can make me laugh, then we're cool. Plus my family likes to joke and tease, so you gotta be able to handle that. But yeah, make me laugh and hey, get my son to laugh too or if he seems to like you, then I think it'll work out.
Aside from humor that I love, I'm also the kind of girl that will do things for you. Make breakfast in bed, bring you coffee, water, tea, or whatever you drink. Try to do back massages and even play video games with you. Make dinner. Share jokes of various types.
I think I found a perfect balance between being mature and immature.
Being a good mom, I also ran around WalMart with my son last year in December. People watched us like we were crazy and doing something wrong. Nothing wrong with running around WalMart with your one year old boy, laughing... I miss him. I miss being with someone. And I miss when my laptop worked. But I do not miss any of my exes. They're the past, and as I told them before, I don't give second chances. And I still stick with that choice. 😏

Love
Ariana

New Update

My sister is right, I am gonna snap one day. I finished my last book to my zombie series, but it's only available on Amazon Kindle. Createspace won't let me release it as a paperback, which is a bit stressful. But, still pushing forward, keeping hope and smiling. Now, stuck here with family that doesn't help me clean, we are about out of groceries and other necessities. I have $27 left that I was saving for something personal and important, or for gas money so I can finally get my son, but I gotta use it to get what groceries I can. Everyone has been complaining that I need to get certain stuff, mainly for themselves. I get a check once a year from the tribe I'm part of, I usually use that money for some cheap Christmas gifts for my family and for my son. But before I even get the check, my family is telling me to get a new washer, dryer, refrigerator, and water heater... Problem with that, I don't get enough for all that.
Sorry, just venting here. My sister got mad at me for not fixing the issue with my Sims game on her laptop for her little girl. It needs to be defragmented and optimized, I told her that many times, but she won't let me do it cause she thinks I'll mess it up. My niece dumped old milk into my son's car seat, and damaged my Left 4 Dead 2 game. Everyone is sick with allergies and I am somehow being blamed for it.
Can't wait til I can actually save up. Would love to get my son and move out of Oklahoma. Start new somewhere and just go from there.
I should probably not bottle up this stuff. I figured not a lot of people care to know my own problems. But as an ex once said, it's best to vent than bottle it up.
Might be why I have insomnia issues every night.
That's about all, I feel a little better now.

Love
Ariana

Things Will Get Better, I Promise

The title is me pretty much telling myself that. Things will get better. I haven't done any writing lately, my family is falling apart from all this trouble that's been going on for a month now. We are pretty much out of groceries and what food we do have is for my niece since she's here this week. I made everyone else French toast, there wasn't enough for me, so instead I made myself some cinnamon toast. Kinda worn out on cinnamon toast and ramen. Been eating a lot of ramen too. Everyone else is doing good at least. Just glad my son doesn't have to be here during times like now. Not getting any responses for the jobs I applied to and I'm still not sleeping well.
But, I have hope it'll get better. Just need to keep trying, even as worn out as I feel.
Thought of giving up earlier. Felt like crying out of frustration, but me being myself, I bury that and force some happiness around my family. Would still love to move out and be on my own, have my son, and a loyal, caring, guy in my life. Humor never hurts, that's helpful when things suck. So, for others out there that can understand what I feel: Frustrated, sad, angry, hungry, stressed, and restless, IT WILL GET BETTER. I PROMISE 😊

Love
Ariana