Brand New

Hello. I seem to get in the mood to post late at nights. Anyways, hope everyone is doing good, if not, then I hope you're day/night gets better. Been busy lately, got my gift shopping done, cleaning done, helped with my niece when she was sick, and kept up with The Walking Dead (returns February 12th!!). And, worked on new books. So far, I plan on releasing a new one soon. It's a psychological suspense that's supposed to play on the mind. Drew the front cover, which you can see the front cover on my Instagram at username Ariana_Torralba91 . It's violent too, but most of my horror and suspense usually are. Good way to get any bottled up anger out. Writing is my anger management... So is music. And coffee. To let you know, it's not a zombie apocalypse book. But has about the same amount of violence, gore, and swearing as When The Dead Came series.
Another book I'm working on is opposite of the suspense. It's a mix of comedy/romance/drama, just to take a break from the gore and violence. Plan on releasing that on on Valentine's Day.
Look forward to a little more about the psychological suspense book.

Love
Ariana

Hello Everyone

I do a lot of late night posts. Anyways, been busy. Had a great past weekend with my son, we had fun. Babysat my niece, we set the tree up. And helped take care of her while sick. Currently, I want to write, but not sure what. Drinking coffee too.
Back to trying any luck on okcupid... Same as before. And still making new friends. Have a bad case of writers block though. I don't know, overworked mind I guess. Should take a break, but I won't. Been thinking of going back to writing movie scripts like I used to do.
Christmas is coming soon, then before i know it, stores will have Valentine's day crap out.
I never really liked valentines day. Not because I don't have anyone to spend it with, but the fact that I tend to have something bad happen on that day. Last valentines was awesome because the walking dead came back on that day. It'll take some time to talk about past valentines, so I'll just do that another time. Aside from that holiday, don't mind the others.
Sorry, rambling while trying to figure out what to write.

Love
Ariana

Another Late Night Post

Hey everyone. Still awake, I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow, but everyone is still awake and technically my "bed" is the couch. And no one is showing signs of going to bed anytime soon. I got shot in the mouth by a plastic arrow. I was checking my phone, and my sister decided to fire a plastic arrow at me, thinking it wouldn't hurt... It hurt. It hurt like hell. Mouth went numb and a tooth hurts a little bit, bled for a short moment then stopped; but my upper lip feels numb and possibly bruised. A bit swollen. She threatened to do it again.
I have such a loving family, huh. Earlier my niece hit me a few times for accidentally knocking her strawberry shake over. In my defense, she left it sitting on the couch beside a couple of bags that I was going to put up. Could be worse. My sister might shoot the bb gun at me for fun. Sometimes, I assume she doesn't like me much. Purposely trying to injure me every week.
Listening to The Little Things Give You Away. Linkin Park soldier. Their music makes me feel better (I discussed this in the last post).
You can now find me on Linkin Park's site now. I used to be on there but deactivated my account, my husband at the time didn't like me being on their site. Oddly, he acted jealous of the band. Couldn't even hang up my poster.
But, was doing an updated post. Here's hoping that my upper lip doesn't bruise and my tooth stops hurting. My sister is lucky I don't have a bad temper like my brothers. As my little brother said before, I'd likely snap one day. Haha. Goodnight everyone.

Love
Ariana

Late Night Post

Hello everyone. Feeling great, no longer sick, short from allergies. Been listening to my Linkin Park cds lately. Anyone else a Linkin Park fan? I am. Been a fan since Hybrid Theory. I was a kid and I remember telling my oldest brother (deceased) I wanted Linkin Park's cd for Christmas. I was happy, I still have the cd to this day... It actually has outlasted my other cds from over the years. I remember saving the money up too to join the LPU, but the money was stolen. Still haven't had a chance to join, but I still hope to one day. At one point in my teens, I started listening to other bands and that resorted in depression and phases. During my second, terrible relationship, I finally got Minutes To Midnight. Took me out of that phase and depression. Strength to let go of that guy. Same with my third ex.
Their music has always had a profound impact on my life. I'm more cheerful and feel better about myself and everything. Even when I was pregnant, the first time I felt my son kick was to Burn It Down.
I remember being younger, I actually used to have a crush on Rob Bourdon. Brad Delson... Mike Shinoda. (my sister had a crush on Chester Bennington). But, now that I'm older, I developed respect for the band (no longer crushes) because of the amazing work they do: Charities, Music For Relief, their work. They're good influences for others, hopefully my son can learn from their influences. Hell, he's already influenced by their music. Almost three and he loves to play the drums and guitar. So, a thank you to my all time favorite band, Linkin Park, for the influences in my life. Their music for taking me out of depression and self hate. I plan to donate to Music For Relief in the (near) future. I hope.
Can't wait for heir new album.

Love
Ariana (Linkin Park fan since Hybrid Theory)

Passing The Time

Hello everyone. Been sick the last few days, still weak, but bouncing back. Today I spent time making fleece throw blankets for my son and niece. Then worked on a quilt. I actually started the quilt back when I was married cause at the time my husband (ex husband) and I were wanting five kids. But, after we had our son, he suddenly changed his mind and divorced me later. Anyways, I was making the quilt incase I ever had a little baby girl. But since the divorce, I stopped working on it, now I'm back to the quilt because I can always give the quilt to one of my siblings if they ever have a daughter. If not, then it can be a gift for someone else later in life.
But now, I'm working on a fantasy book, likely a short book. Writing it for my son. It'll be something I can read to him when I do have him here at times. Hopefully he will like the book. It'll have a mystical setting about it. Taking a break from writing currently because it began to remind me of the times he and I played outside. On Mother's Day, he gave me a rock he found. I still have it. We also found ladybugs and caught grasshoppers together.
Think it's the depression that's making me feel sick, the further it goes, the worst I feel. Still keeping hope! But unfortunately, I practically missed out on his whole two year. In January he'll be three and his birthday is on a day I can't get him.
Sucks.

Love
Ariana

The Walking Dead Rant

You know, I went on a rant the other day on my Facebook. It was over the Parental Control thing having problems about the violence that was on the season 7 premiere episode of The Walking Dead.
They complained about the violence, gore, and whatnot and that it should change its rating.
My rant about it was that there are many ways to deal with it.
1. Change the channel
2. Turn it off
3. Don't subscribe to the channel
4. Satellite and cable offers the option to block access to things like that
5. If you have a problem with it then why are you even watching it??

If you follow my Twitter, then you may know I'm a fan of the show. Have been since season 1 and you might know too that gore doesn't bother me. But, anyways, they have all those options, yet choose to complain. Come on! There's worse out there on tv. There are shows with nudity, drugs, and even cartoons that have hidden adult content. Hell, I heard American Horror Story had a moment where a character decided to bash another character in the head, the Parental Television Content people didn't complain. Yet The Walking Dead had Negan beat two characters to death and they act like it's the worst thing ever.
Turn on your parental lock on your television and stop bitching. It's a television show that has always had violence and gore.
Short from that, the first episode was great. The makeup effects were amazing and the actors all did a great job at creating the fear towards Negan.
Usually I don't like the villain in movies and TV shows, but Negan pretty much drew me in with the charm and wit. Plus I'll admit, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a very handsome man... And I do not usually say that or think that much about older gentlemen.
Will miss Glenn and Abraham. Glenn's sense of security and love for Maggie. And Abraham's humorous choice of words and strength. I look forward to the rest of this new season.

Love
Ariana

Rambling On

Hope everyone had a good Halloween. Those that enjoy it that is. Coming up soon: Thanksgiving and Christmas! Growing up, Halloween was my favorite time of the year. Since 2013 (when I was pregnant), it has been Christmas. For my son last year, I ordered him a How To Train Your Dragon toy box, a Toothless dragon plush toy, a Toothless dragon bank, and a Hiccup and Toothless toy set. He loved those toys. This year I want to get him a replica Lucille bat. Anyways, growing up, we hardly had a decent Christmas. Usually we didn't get gifts. One year my older sister had wrapped old toys in newspaper and put them under the tree just so my little brother, little sister and I could unwrap gifts.
Back in my teens, I would go through my belongings and wrap up things I didn't need anymore. Then place them under the tree just so my family had something to look forward to.
Since the percap check comes once a year, I now get at least one gift for everyone. Well, more than one for my son. Around that time too, I usually bake pumpkin pies. I have learned my lesson though to always plan gifts and backup gifts.
Usually when I have a specific gift in mind and I make it to the store, the specific gift is never there or available.
Sorry about going on about Christmas already, couldn't think of something interesting to talk about.

Love
Ariana

What I Would Give Up For My Son

Instead of posting about my day, cause it won't be different from any other day, I spent time calling to check on my son and tried very hard not to cry on the phone. I haven't had a chance to see him since April. Family won't help. It's killing me inside, and quite depressed, so while sitting outside alone and crying it out, I told myself what all I would give up just for him/ to have him. Here is the things:
I would give up coffee for him
I would give up a kidney, lung, and an arm just for him.
I would give up the ability to speak
I would give up trying to find the one
I would give up the ability to hear
I would give up all my movie scripts I wrote over the years
I would give up my shitty writing
I would give up music
I would give up my status in the Comanche Nation Tribe if I could have him
I would give up my percap I get once a year
I would give up drawing
I would travel to hell and back if it means I could have him
I would give up whatever "good looks" guys say I have for him
I would give up the ability to have more kids
I would risk my life for him
I would give up The Walking Dead
I would give up all my belongings for him
I would give up video games
I would give up doing makeup effects
I would give up any shred of talent I have
I would give up the internet and social media
I would give up my personality
I would give up my heart
And I would give up my health just to have my son back for good.
I'm not sure if other single parents feel this way when they can't see or have their kids, but that's how I feel. My greatest fear is he will forget me. I hardly ever get to talk to him on the phone either. Everytime I call, I'm told he's sleeping or outside playing.
Michael is my only son, and I love him to death. Back when I was pregnant, his dad didn't want him. Yet, he has him now. My sister complains that she misses her daughter when she goes back to her dad. But it seems more painful when you can't see your son at all and can't talk to him. That is my everyday struggle since the divorce back in November of last year. And yes, it's a hell I'm stuck in. I started writing and publishing just for him and no one likes it. Why not either? To me lately it's shitty stories. It's a damn waste and it's not getting me anywhere or any way closer to the goal of being able to afford a lawyer and to get my son. Trying to become an author is another failed goal. I'm sure my oldest brothers knew that even in death.

Ariana

Short From Frustrations...

Aside from the bottled up anger, I decided to try online dating again. No success however. Again. I don't know. Most guys interested are from other states or countries, they don't want a long distance relationship, can't move until I can actually get full custody of my little boy. I'm sure I can move away, but I don't want to do anywhere without him. That kid keeps me happy, last time I seen him was back in April.
I seem to attract guys that don't really have a sense of humor. Joked with a guy earlier, his response was "that's not funny"... Tried joking when I was with my first ex back in 2010, but he wanted me to not ever joke with him again. Douche.
Sense of humor is the key to me. You laugh and joke and can make me laugh, then we're cool. Plus my family likes to joke and tease, so you gotta be able to handle that. But yeah, make me laugh and hey, get my son to laugh too or if he seems to like you, then I think it'll work out.
Aside from humor that I love, I'm also the kind of girl that will do things for you. Make breakfast in bed, bring you coffee, water, tea, or whatever you drink. Try to do back massages and even play video games with you. Make dinner. Share jokes of various types.
I think I found a perfect balance between being mature and immature.
Being a good mom, I also ran around WalMart with my son last year in December. People watched us like we were crazy and doing something wrong. Nothing wrong with running around WalMart with your one year old boy, laughing... I miss him. I miss being with someone. And I miss when my laptop worked. But I do not miss any of my exes. They're the past, and as I told them before, I don't give second chances. And I still stick with that choice. 😏

Love
Ariana

New Update

My sister is right, I am gonna snap one day. I finished my last book to my zombie series, but it's only available on Amazon Kindle. Createspace won't let me release it as a paperback, which is a bit stressful. But, still pushing forward, keeping hope and smiling. Now, stuck here with family that doesn't help me clean, we are about out of groceries and other necessities. I have $27 left that I was saving for something personal and important, or for gas money so I can finally get my son, but I gotta use it to get what groceries I can. Everyone has been complaining that I need to get certain stuff, mainly for themselves. I get a check once a year from the tribe I'm part of, I usually use that money for some cheap Christmas gifts for my family and for my son. But before I even get the check, my family is telling me to get a new washer, dryer, refrigerator, and water heater... Problem with that, I don't get enough for all that.
Sorry, just venting here. My sister got mad at me for not fixing the issue with my Sims game on her laptop for her little girl. It needs to be defragmented and optimized, I told her that many times, but she won't let me do it cause she thinks I'll mess it up. My niece dumped old milk into my son's car seat, and damaged my Left 4 Dead 2 game. Everyone is sick with allergies and I am somehow being blamed for it.
Can't wait til I can actually save up. Would love to get my son and move out of Oklahoma. Start new somewhere and just go from there.
I should probably not bottle up this stuff. I figured not a lot of people care to know my own problems. But as an ex once said, it's best to vent than bottle it up.
Might be why I have insomnia issues every night.
That's about all, I feel a little better now.

Love
Ariana

Things Will Get Better, I Promise

The title is me pretty much telling myself that. Things will get better. I haven't done any writing lately, my family is falling apart from all this trouble that's been going on for a month now. We are pretty much out of groceries and what food we do have is for my niece since she's here this week. I made everyone else French toast, there wasn't enough for me, so instead I made myself some cinnamon toast. Kinda worn out on cinnamon toast and ramen. Been eating a lot of ramen too. Everyone else is doing good at least. Just glad my son doesn't have to be here during times like now. Not getting any responses for the jobs I applied to and I'm still not sleeping well.
But, I have hope it'll get better. Just need to keep trying, even as worn out as I feel.
Thought of giving up earlier. Felt like crying out of frustration, but me being myself, I bury that and force some happiness around my family. Would still love to move out and be on my own, have my son, and a loyal, caring, guy in my life. Humor never hurts, that's helpful when things suck. So, for others out there that can understand what I feel: Frustrated, sad, angry, hungry, stressed, and restless, IT WILL GET BETTER. I PROMISE 😊

Love
Ariana

What's New?

Don't you hate it when there is an opportunity for things to change finally after 25 years of being, well, pretty much poor or close to it, and then there's a catch?
I ended up joining exploretalent, mainly to see if I would even have any interests for parts available. Well, I got chosen to be a supporting role in an Adam Sandler movie. Now the issue with that is, I have to upgrade to pro membership on exploretalent so I can receive all info for the part and the documents. It's exciting because the amount I'd earn a week would help greatly for me to help my family and get a small place in the town my son is in. But I can't do it. I don't have a bank account to even upgrade to pro and even if I did, it would go just like how it did when I got my first percap from the Comanche tribe: My mom kept the debit card and kept taking the money out. Sure we needed groceries, but still. So, this shot to become an actress will have to be passed up.
Aside from that, some insane girl is threatening to harm my family just cause my sister's fiancé turned her down. Haven't seen my son since April and that is just slowly killing me inside. I keep hitting writers block as well and doing my best.
Gave up on trying to date, and attempting to cut down on coffee... We already know that isn't going to happen haha. But, these life changing moments happen so often, then it's prevented. I'm sure others have gone through that too, correct?
Maybe I'll have a shot at it again. Preferably a shot that will not require me to upgrade to pro just to finally make it and finally get my little boy.

Love
Ariana

Decision To Become Frugal (Even More)

Growing up, for some reason, our neighbors used to think (and spread rumors) that my family and I were rich. It's ridiculous, a ridiculous assumption, because we weren't at all. Far from it. So, to be technical, I am a poor woman. Or close to it. Struggled a lot when I was younger, through my teens, and even now. Trying to turn talents into jobs isn't working out such as writing books.
Can't get into selling knitted hats and scarves because I can't always afford yarn. So now I'm onto trying to sell my drawings I do. Why am I doing this?
I intend on saving up, get my own place, eventually my son (I worry every day that he will forget me and it's depressing and sad) and just go from there. These days when I can have money on hand, suddenly my family needs something. Therefore, I have set goals and big dreams. Not like I can try to go out and get a job easy. I live out in the country and no car. Been offered so many jobs lately, but then my family kills that by telling me I can't take those jobs since I don't have a car. It's frustrating and tiring.
Divorce pretty much ruined a lot too: Can't see my son. I can't get health insurance these days cause they try to get me to get child support from him and I don't want to do that. Then the fact I fear relationships now.
I don't know. Have a difficult life and all I want is my own place, a job, and my son. Too much to ask for apparently! Let that be a learned lesson: Family isn't always motivators, they can kill your dreams; divorce can ruin your once hopeful love. And, trying to scrape and save when you're struggling is a hard task. But, hopefully, can be done. Not going to quit. But trying hard is really taking a toll on my mental health. 😔
If any of you understand how these issues are difficult, then I wish you luck with your own goals and family in life.
Love
Ariana

Movie Talk

Been awhile again. Lately I have been feeling irritable and you would too if you were stuck with family 24/7. 😒 And so, I have nothing new to discuss, which is why I decided to talk about movies. Halloween will be here soon and lately I have been getting into the old, classic movies. I watched The Circus, which is a Charlie Chaplin film. Humorous. Another interesting one I seen before was the Two Faced Woman.
Anyone have any favorite actors from long ago? Or movies? I liked the 1932 film Freaks and the ever classic, Psycho. Anthony Perkins was one of the best actors and I still don't think anyone can replicate how well he played Norman Bates (over the week, I literally had to describe what the movie Psycho is to four or five people, yet they gain interest when you mention the Bates Motel in the movie. They automatically say they like the series Bates Motel). Makes me feel old though, I'm 25, and having to describe Psycho to people my age just... It makes me feel like I should have been from another time and age, that's how it makes me feel.
Anyways, Anthony Perkins, a great actor. Primrose Evening, enjoyed his singing. Favorite actress was Audrey Hepburn; and Lana Turner did a good job in The Imitation of Life. I remember watching that film as a child. Of course the old horror films I enjoy: Psycho, Freaks, Eraserhead, Night Of The Living Dead (original!), Nosferatu, Carnival Of Souls,House On Haunted Hill (another original), The Last Man On Earth. Many more, I have a classic horror film collection set here somewhere. If my niece didn't scratch the discs up.
I like the classics, not many my age do or even know any black and white films or actors/actresses. It's pretty much a time that is dying out as years go by and it's shocking because now days my niece questions those things. One day she asked what a VHS tape was... And that, my friends, is an example of how children are these days toward the classics. Well, and the other example being where I described Psycho to people.
It's a bit sad that even those my age don't know the classic film.

Love
Ariana


http://youtu.be/g9qMo7rDXRc

Up Late/Up Early

Still awake. Hope everyone is having a good day. My dad is here visiting for the weekend, which is awesome, haven't seen him since last year at my oldest brother's funeral. Been awake all night, literally trying to find a decent dating site. I don't get to get out much so that's pretty much the only choice of trying to find a good guy. And let me say, most guys my age are not on the same level as me. Most don't want a 25 year old with a child (which is a very big deal breaker since I have a son) or they don't want anything long term or a serious relationship. I learned on some dating sites that guys younger than me are pushy and mean. All they want is sex, and when I decline them, they call me names (such as the guy that told me to go kill myself just cause I didn't want to sleep with him for $200) and the guy that started telling others that I only wanted to use guys for money. Then, guys older than me want to show off and spoil me, guess like a "sugar daddy", but I don't want that. All I would love is to have a serious, long term, relationship. Money doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if the guy is rich or poor. If he's rich then good for him, I would still prefer to work and earn my own money. If he's poor then that's okay too because I know what it's like to be poor.
Grew up poor and I guess I would still be considered poor. I don't mind it. There have been guys my age that decided to not go out with me because of that "issue". Hell, they consider me having a son as an "issue" too. The point is I do not care if the guy has money or not, as long as they love me and we're happy. And they accept my son too.
And that is my early rant. Just wanted to get that out.

Love
Ariana

A Very Brief Post

Just posting, like on whenthedeadcame, that there will be a free book promotion for Apocalypse World/Survive coming up September 1st, til September 5th.
The rest is explained on the other blog about my absence from here.
Patience is key. And, I you're not patient, then below is the link to the book now. Remember free promotion September 1st - September 5th.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01HK9AW38

Love
Ariana
P.S. Started a blog for single parents and divorced parents.

Late Night Check Up

Hello, hope everyone has been having a good time since the last time I posted on here. Been busy lately. Had an interview with a modeling and acting agency, unfortunately though, I never got to make it. But moving on with jobs that are random. Applied to online representative jobs, babysitting, pet sitting/pet walking, house keeping, stores. Have worked in a fast food place before, it wasn't great. Also been researching the cheapest homes for sale that would be close enough for me to actually get my son when I'm supposed to.
Was supposed to hang out with someone tomorrow, but he cancelled due to work. Tired.
Was actually awakened around 7:29 in the morning due to a bad dream. Not sure who it was, but in the dream it was a guy pretty much stalking me and kept peering through the windows. He had a gun and kept pointing it at me. It was weird. Not sure about dream meanings, either way, don't really feel comfortable in public now.
There are people that believe dreams can foretell the future... If so then mine just mix between good and terrible. Back in my teens had a dream that I actually wrote into the first part of When The Dead Came. Yet around the age of 18, I had a dream where I was married and had five kids, oldest being a boy.
Ironically I used to be married (divorced now) and my first child is a little, adorable boy... I miss my son.
You know what, might start a new blog to talk separately about him and parenting/single mom stuff. Cause I know there may be readers out there that don't enjoy how I go from discussing my day or something, then go talking about my son. So, separate blogs! That's about all for now, gonna start this new blog for single moms/divorced too. Something that will make sense. I hope.

Love
Ariana

Late Night Check Up

Hey everyone. Been busy, and trying to do more writing, but been hitting writers block like crazy. Celebrated my older brother's birthday yesterday (since it's after midnight), got out of the house. Even though it was to the store, I still cherished it haha. Ran through WalMart for a last minute product. Glad it wasn't as crowded as larger WalMart's, almost ran into a cart.
Had a chance for an interview with a modeling and acting agency but missed the interview. Wasn't too happy with that, but hey, better luck next time, right? Anyways, been offered a lot of dates lately, but hesitant. I really want to be careful, had four failed relationships, don't want a fifth failed relationship.
... Forgot what I was going to add to that. But, yeah. Hesitant. Oh, also realized this coming week will be the same time last year when my ex husband told me he was divorcing me. September 1st will be the one year mark, seeing how I was advised twice to wait a year before dating. But, instead of that, I also plan on improving myself and my life.
Other than that, not much else. A guy got mad at me cause I turned him down, then proceeded with telling others that I only want to use guys for money. Completely false. I've turned down at least six or more guys when they offered money or to spoil me. If I want money then I'll earn it myself... Not having any luck with that right now, but I still won't stoop that low. Another guy called me a dumb bitch also because I turned him down.
I turned down the first guy because he asked me to screw him and his friend. I turned down the second guy because he was more like a friend.
Just like any other human being in the world, I just want to find the one. A sense of humor is the key to my heart. Loyalty, caring, protective. Dark hair, someone who I can enjoy horror and comedy movies with. Someone I can enjoy listening to Linkin Park with, rock and metal music. Someone that will accept my son. Someone that won't verbally abuse me or threaten me. Someone that knows they want marriage and kids in the future. And doesn't mind playing video games either.
In the state of Oklahoma, that is a bit hard to find, and can't find someone out of state or country cause apparently guys don't want a long distance relationship. I'm pretty much stuck.
Also, been thinking of seeing how it works if I do a video post. Think that could work? Honestly, never done a video post before. Doesn't hurt to try though.
That's about all right now that has gone down.

Love
Ariana

A New Book Currently Being Worked On

Hello (again), been writing, and this isn't the final book to my zombie series, When The Dead Came, although the final book will be coming very soon. But, this particular book I'm working on is another horror story. Not zombie based or apocalyptic in any way. This book is more of a psychological horror.
It was one I originally wrote back in 2009 or 2010. I'll be sharing small parts from it as I work along and hopefully will prove to be interesting. I hope anyways.
This book will not be dragged out like When The Dead Came 1 & 2/Apocalypse World/Survive, and the last book coming soon.
Here is a small sample from the new horror book, Don't Be Afraid.

A clanking of pipes echoed from the last room, her hearing making it seem as though it happened against her eardrums. Walking, she swallowed the fear and stuttered,"D-Darius? Valerie? Clyde? Anybody down here?!"
The rooms around her seemed to come to life as sounds echoed all around her. Screams, yells, and scratching frightening her. Turning and facing directly at the square, glass window of a door, Larissa watched as a young man was screaming and beating his head against the glass.
Jumping back, she bumped into something. Turning, another young man was in a wheelchair. The bandage on his head fell loose and she could see within, a hole from a lobotomy. Screaming, Larissa dropped the flashlight and turned to run, the lights going out again. As she continued screaming, she ran into a stretcher and fell to the floor, hitting her head hard against a loose floor tile.
Opening her eyes, Larissa looked down at the floor, faintly seeing the drips of blood from her wound as the lights kept flickering again.
"Don't worry dear, we will fix you up just fine." Larissa's eyes grew wide when she heard an elderly man's voice speak behind her. Looking back over her right shoulder, there stood a tall man. His gray hair combed over perfectly as he grinned, white teeth with what looked like blood stains; small splats on his otherwise perfectly white coat.
Larissa screamed at the top of her lungs and felt a sharp pain around her ankles, her body suddenly jerking and her face went down against the floor, busting her mouth and nose hard enough to draw blood. She screamed again as she was quickly dragged down the long hall, the flickering lights going out as she passed them, maniacal laughter following throughout the hall in the dark.

I'll be sharing more off and on. And pretty soon it will be available.

Love
Ariana

Being A Single Mom at 25

Hello again. It has been so hot here everyday. Did some cleaning yesterday, to take a break from writing, and found a few dimes and pennies in my belongings. Put away most of my son's clothes. Can't wait for the day to come when I can see him again. Or the day I can try for full custody. I miss him so much that it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Also stated before that I would give up coffee, writing books/stories, and a kidney for him.
I'm sure there are a few readers on here that can understand what that is like, or knows what divorce is like. I was actually advised to wait a year to move on, been divorced for about ten months now. Not bad at all.
I always wanted to be a mom, these days though I feel less like a mom and more like how I was before ever being in any relationships: Dull, shy, and that awkward teen again.
I don't know. Divorce pretty much screwed me up. I can't even bring myself to attempt flirting with guys interested in me because I'm afraid of getting close to someone else. And I suck at flirting. Well, most guys also seem to run away when I mention I'm a single mother to a little boy.
I love my son very much that I'm sure I want to give up relationships so I can just focus on him. He's a smart kid for two years old. He knows numbers, colors, American muscle cars, not picky, loves playing the drums, enjoys How To Train Your Dragon, listens, helps clean, compassionate, likes football and hockey, insects, good music. Maybe if I can get full custody one day, I think I can do it as a single mom. I'm quite sure I can do it.
I'll also admit, I tried dating sites, but that is not the wisest choice.
So at this point, I'm gonna wait it out. Wait for the right guy to find me. Judging by my four failed relationships, it's wise for me to wait, haha.
Once again, just blogging my random thoughts. As you can tell, it jumped a lot.
But yeah, I'll be quite happy when I can finally hold my little boy again.
Love
Ariana

Natural Disasters

Hello and hope everyone is having a decent day. Been busy writing, babysitting my niece, and promoting. It has been hot here every day, but woke up this morning and it was actually cold in here. Turned out it has been raining since five this morning. Called yesterday to check on my son and he is doing well. And apparently anger/stubbornness runs in the family, haha. He has anger issues and is pretty stubborn.
Been a lot of natural disasters these days. It actually flooded some in the city. The last time it flooded here where I live was back in August, 2009. Luckily, we got to miss school for a week because it got bad in town. School and homes got damaged. Yet, here at the house, we didn't get damage.
The thing to know about me is I have a pretty good memory. For example, in my teens at the age of 16, we had a snow storm/blizzard like conditions here. Knocked the power out for almost a month. We had built a snowcat, instead of a snowman.
In spring time of 2010, my mom and I had been the only ones home to deal with a fire that started from a sparking power line. It was dangerous, but it also was taking the fire truck an hour to show up.
November 7th of 2011, while I was cleaning, we had an earthquake for the first time... Felt weird too because I was standing and I thought I got dizzy. Our cat at the time was hanging out on the table and just looked at me funny. Then, three days after, we had a tornado. I remember that clearly. We had gone to the abandoned cellar next door. Now what sucked about that, was the cellar has no door. So a lot of the debris being thrown around came in the cellar: Branches, leaves, trash, rain. Of course the strong winds and we could hear the tornado going over. After it passed, we left the cellar and could see it in the distance.
Our cats were okay, my brother's ramp he had spent all summer building was destroyed, our basketball goal was snapped in half. Satellite dish damaged, front porch flooded with water, the wheelbarrow and trash can were in the field behind the house, bark gone on the trees. We expected the mailbox to be gone, but in a funny way, it was still there, just not the lid.
April of 2013 when I lived in Elk City with my now ex husband, it was hot and storming, hailing all night. When we woke up the next day, it was icy, snowing, and freezing.
Finally, when I was pregnant back in July of 2013, there was a firework malfunction. It fell over, shot sparks in random directions, and caught the driveway on fire. My husband at the time stood there and watched while I helped my family fight the fire. After awhile though, my family made me stop helping so I didn't miscarry.
The day my son was born, it was icy and snowing.
Good example of random weather here in Oklahoma.

Love
Ariana

My Wisdom On Finding The Perfect One

Okay, hope everyone has had a good day today. I spent it relaxing and will continue writing tomorrow. Posting this late at night to share thoughts. A moment ago, someone asked me my insight on why people have trouble finding the perfect one. On why we can write and create our characters to be happy with the one we made for them, but can't find our own.
Just to be clear, I am not good at love, flirting, or dating apparently. I would love to be happy with someone, but I tend to mess up due to fears of repetition from past relationships. Below is my insight, wisdom on finding the perfect guy or girl/soul mates.

"Many people are on here for different reasons, one particular reason being that they are hoping to find the perfect guy/girl that is everything to them. There are some that wants someone that has the best appearance they have ever seen. They want someone that isn't afraid to argue with them, or they want someone that has a great personality. Then the ones that want someone that also wants marriage and kids, or those that don't want either of those. But it all comes down to finding the perfect one. Like I told someone in messages, the one could be anywhere. It could be the person that has nothing in common with you. The one that is very attractive, or the one that has an amazing personality. It could be a stranger you pass by every day or even someone from another country. It takes patience to find the perfect person, your soul mate. Point is, you will find the right one eventually. I'm being optimistic here because I know I should be the last person to give advice on finding the one. I have had four failed relationships, stood up for dates, and messed up my chances, but this is what my response was because that's what I think about the perfect one. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my wisdom on love. 😏 "

Thanks for reading all that, and hope the rest of your day is well.

Love
Ariana

Turning Old Cartoons Into Short Books

Good evening everyone. Well, it's actually after midnight here. Good morning will suffice. Hope everyone is having a good day. I'm back on Booksie, sharing my other writings that I've done over the years. If you don't mind reading depressing poetry written by a teen going through a phase, by all means, feel free to read my two poems I shared on there. Just look for Ariana Torralba. Didn't like my teen years. That was the worst years for me.
Also on my Facebook and Twitter, I made mention of my cartoons I used to draw. To elaborate, back when I was 7 or 8, I began creating cartoons. I mentioned that in another post on here.
Well, one of the cartoons was called Mike Stone cartoons. I began drawing them, like I said, to cope with my parents breaking up.
Mike Stone was a teen that was into rock and metal music, liked playing musical instruments, favorite candy was Butterfingers, and he picked on his sister, Karen.
I stopped creating them when I was 21 years old because to me, I didn't think they'd get anywhere. It ended with Mike Stone beginning a rock band with his last friend from school named John and had his own kids.
Skip to 2015 and I decided I would keep creating Mike Stone cartoons, but only for my son and only him.
Now, today, I got the bright idea to go ahead and share Mike Stone cartoons, but not as a published cartoon. Instead, I plan on writing every one that I created over the years as short books for kids. Or teens, although can't think of many teens that are into rock/metal music.
I actually used to have a website up for Mike Stone cartoons. Think I took it down though.
So, that is something to look forward to. Also thinking of knitting hats and selling them, then donate half the profits. But also would like to donate knitted hats to hospitals for kids, infants, the elderly, and cancer patients.
... I'm a compassionate person. Always have been. And I hope my son will value that trait too.

Love
Ariana

Still Waiting/Chatting About Cats and Scars

I wouldn't say I'm an interesting person. Anytime someone says I'm different, unique, so on, I just say "no, I'm average". Been part of the lower class for as long as I can remember, began creating cartoons when I was 7 or 8, probably my way of dealing with my parents breakup. Began showing an interest in music very young, and started writing my own stories at 12. Did Graphic Design for two years back in school, never drank alcohol in my life or ever smoked or partied, never been outside of Oklahoma, have a lot of scars, and don't really like coconut.
Got a scar on my left eyelid, tore up my right leg when I was younger (scars finally faded), had sliced a layer of skin off my right thumb before, cut on the back of my right thigh, have had stitches twice in my life, stung on my right wrist from a hornet, scar on my left shin from hitting it against a trailer hitch, and an odd looking scar on my left thumb.
I have a great memory, probably the great quality I have right now. What else (still waiting on the coffee, so wasting more time), I enjoy learning history. It was one of my favorite subjects back in school and always had all A's in that class. Disliked math for some reason. I think I failed that subject. I usually had the right answer in my mind, just never applied the answers to my work.
I had actually gone to prom once, didn't want to go, but was pushed to. Only reason was because I had been the one that created the theme graphics that were all over the posters, and whatnot. Went alone, which was fine.
Uh... I don't mind the older music, thanks to the Fallout games.
What else am I willing to admit? ... I don't mind listening to Zedd. Kinda like the song Done With Love. I also think the song They're Coming To Take Me Away is trippy.
(Still waiting)
I like cats. Always have had cats. My first cat was named Cheech, an adorable yellow kitten. But that took a sad turn. When I was a kid, a neighbor dog had come into the yard and killed my kitten in front of me. Not ashamed to admit I cried for days. Next cat I had was a black cat named Rob. Had him for years, then he disappeared. Current cat is a fluffy calico named Britta. Couldn't have cats around my last two exes due to allergies.
And, believe it or not, this blog is the first time I have ever shared so much about myself. Quite seriously, I'm usually a closed book, never liked sharing about myself because I figured who the hell would care to know about me? Who would care to know about my random moments and rants?
Apparently there are people who do read this, and for that, I say: Thank You.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to know me. I created this to let out feelings and emotions. Thank you everyone, hope my rants and thoughts are decent enough to read.

Love
Ariana

Random Chit Chat/Waiting For Coffee!!!!

Hello, again. Been some time since I posted on here. Been busy writing and of course, housework here. Things could be better though. A lot better. Keep wishing I had my son with me and a place for he and I to live together. I keep hoping I find the right guy one day, but uh... That search could last a life time. Or not. I don't really know, but I know to be more careful and not fall for that whole "forever love, soul mates" shit.
Been told that a lot and I guess I'm either dumb for falling for it or I just never learn my lesson. I mean, I believed that crap with my last relationship and look what happened: Divorced, back at my mom's house, and can't have or see my little boy.
Been trying to figure out the true reason why he divorced me, it's been a weight on me since the divorce and it's frustrating. Tried asking him but no response. Maybe he did lose interest in me, or had met someone else. Maybe I was "overbearing"? Probably not the case. His reason was that I was too perfect and I need to find someone else who I'll be perfect enough for and be happier.
I don't know, I keep beating myself up over it all.
Have been asked out by guys, most throw out that they make a lot of money. To get this straight though, I'm not interested in money. Sure I'm a single mother actually in need of money, but doesn't mean I want a guy to treat me like a damn... Whatever it's called. I would prefer to make my own money. I know I can do it. I prefer a personality. Someone I can laugh at jokes with, even the crude kind. Or wouldn't judge me on what I think is funny. With my last relationship, i couldn't watch This Is The End with him. He accused me of checking out the actors... Ridiculous. I'm just like other women. Of course I'm gonna find certain actors attractive! Hell, he had his actresses he was into, but once i try watching a movie that has a favorite actor, he treated it like i was cheating on him.
Seriously, do other relationships have problems like that too? Serious question right there.
Anyways, yeah, a sense of humor is the key to me. Loyalty too. Key essentials that women look for in a guy. Or it's just me. I like to laugh. Music too. I love music. 98% of my time, I have headphones on and listening to my Xbox Music on shuffle.
I don't know, I like a lot of things: Music, writing, drawing, playing musical instruments, cats/kittens, knitting, singing, dancing. Of course my love for coffee, horror/comedy films, and video games. Enjoy baking things. Sounds a bit old fashioned. Of course if you follow my Twitter, I already shared before that I like to collect things too: Old pennies (oldest I have is from 1904), pop tabs, unique rocks, and Canadian coins.
Sorry for talking too much. I'm passing the time and awaiting the coffee. Yes, we FINALLY got coffee.
Either way, I hope things turn around finally.

Love
Ariana

Thoughts About My Deceased Brothers

I know it's late, but just thought I would do a post before going to bed. Clearing my mind here. The topic earlier today with my family was about my two oldest brothers who have died.
Unfortunately, my son didn't get to meet either one of them. A couple weeks after he was born, one died (doctors claim from natural causes) and the other I didn't get to see (he was killed in a hit and run).
The reason I am bringing this up is because of, I guess guilt. The last time I seen either of them was in my teens, ironically on two different Christmases.
When I was pregnant in 2013, my oldest brother (the first one who died) had come to visit for a few days with his sons. I didn't get to go because my husband at the time didn't want to go, plus his other issues that had been going on, and I had nausea from morning sickness. Needless to say, my brother wasn't happy and everyone else was mad at me too.
Then he died in February of 2014.
And then my other brother was killed in a hit and run when he was walking and trying to return home to my mom's house. I remember hearing the news late at night.
I feel guilt because I didn't ever see them again when I had the chance.
I remember my brother (1st one) would call at times and tell me to make something of myself, improve my life. At the time I had been creating cartoons, and he encouraged me to keep creating them.
All I can say is, I wish they were here and could see that I'm trying hard to make something of my life and my son's life by finally publishing my books. I think they would be proud of me, or at least I like to think they would be. I'm trying hard to the point of stress and losing sleep just for my son. Not really successful right now, but I'm not giving up. I'm not a quitter, and I think they knew I had that in me.
God, I hope things work out. Hope I can give my son a good life and I hope that my two brothers forgive me for not being there when they were here to visit. I seriously hope I am making them proud that I'm doing my best to make it. And I hope that they forgive me for the bad choices in guys I made haha.
I miss them and love them both and yeah, I feel guilt every day, but like I tell myself, it was out of my control.

That's final thoughts for tonight. Happy on the outside, but feeling sad and guilt on the inside.

Thanks for reading. Love
Ariana

Movies and Other Random Stuff

Everyone has a favorite movie genre, right? Mine would be comedy and horror films. Long time fan of those since I was a child. Top favorite horror movie ever would be the original Dawn Of The Dead. Top favorite comedy is This Is The End.
I think horror is what got me into doing makeup effects for fun.
Started doing that back in my teens when they used to show Masters of Horror and actually showed rock music videos on Fuse.
I like the Bill and Ted movies, the first one got me interested in history. Also while in my teens, I watched the Diary of A Wimpy Kid movie (crush on Devon Bostick). What else... Seen almost every zombie movie possible.
The Texas Chainsaw films and every Puppet Master movie made.
Seen plenty of comedies. Love the Simon Pegg and Nick Frost films (favorites would be Shaun of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World's End, Paul), Jay Baruchel films, pot humor.
Like the tv series Community, Man Seeking Woman, Rick and Morty, Family Guy, The Walking Dead. Nathan Fielder's show Nathan For You...
This is actually making me realize most of my favorite actors I had/have crushes on are Canadians.
Learn something new everyday.
But, more on that later.

Love
Ariana

Dating Is Difficult

Guess it's known on my Twitter that I am a mother (to one), and divorced. Been divorced since the second week of November (to be honest, I was more upset over the custody than the divorce itself). Had mixed emotions for awhile and didn't feel like eating much.
He divorced me because, his explanation was, that I was too perfect for him. And that I would make someone else happier and I'll be perfect enough for them. Been single since then. Now, I have had four failed relationships since I was 19. Either I wasn't perfect enough or too perfect, there is just no reaching that point of being just right for someone.
Not going to lie, I have tried online dating sites and had no luck. And, I wouldn't mind a serious relationship. Maybe even marriage again, just as long as it's not going to end in divorce again. Possibly more kids too, always missing my little boy being a baby again.
Have been asked out a lot since the divorce, but I have noticed that most guys turn away when they learn I have a son.
My point is, I wouldn't mind finally getting out and just going on a simple date. Last date I was on was in 2013 when I was pregnant and with my ex husband. We had seen This Is The End in theaters when it came out. That's a movie I love along with many others.

Ariana

My Strongest Love

There is one thing I miss the most out of my life, and that is my son. Due to current difficulties, I can't pick him up every other weekend or on the holidays I am supposed to get him. Love that little boy more than anything in the world.
Becoming a mom pretty much changed me. I used to be too shy to share my writings or anything about myself. But after he was born, I decided to share my writings (currently being my zombie series). That little boy is quite smart for a two year old too. He knows his colors, can identify American Muscle cars, loves coloring and drawing, insects, cats and dogs, listens, helps clean, and enjoys playing the drums.
He is also into hockey, so I ended up installing a couple hockey based games on my phone. Unfortunately for him though, hockey isn't really common here in Oklahoma.
Think he took after me, aside from his stubbornness, he got that from his dad. But he has my hair and eye color and I noticed smiles like me.
Hope I can save up money and get full custody of him. Or at least move closer to where he lives now.
Funniest thing that he ever said to me was the last time I seen him. I started singing a song to him. He put his little hand on my arm and said"No mommy, no".
Hoping my books start picking up, because I don't want him to forget me. I'm sure there are other single parents that understand that feeling, when they can't always have their child or children.

Ariana

Another Day

Need time to unwind. I have the cover to my last book of the series, but here is the kicker... I cannot find the damn sketch book. Had it put up, and now it's not where I left it. So, just taking this time to relax and try to figure out where it could be.
Listening to Jars by Chevelle and enjoying dark roast coffee. Prefer dark roast actually. As a reminder, my When The Dead Came blog is mainly for my series on updates. This blog is just random ramblings from me. Usually about random thoughts or whatever is bothering me.
I don't know though, I just like to share a few things about myself, something I rarely do. Could range from things people do know about me (my love for coffee) to things not really known about me (such as my love for doughnuts). I do enjoy doughnuts.
So, this will be a learning experience for me because back in school, I wasn't ever really into sharing things about myself. Same with my past relationships, literally, the first two didn't bother learning much about me. I guess it's the whole anxiety thing.
But, here's hoping I can get along with everyone and be more of a people person kind of woman.


Love
Ariana

Apocalypse World/Survive Available Now

Guess what, the continued book to my zombie series is now available on Createspace for ordering. It includes the unreleased fourth book titled Survive and will soon be available on Amazon and Amazon Kindle, titled Apocalypse World/Survive

Love,
Ariana

https://www.createspace.com/6375130

About Myself

Hello, my name is Ariana Torralba, currently 25 years old. I am a "nerd" at video games, History, Art, Music, English, and Psychology. Quite literally study all those subjects. Also a divorced, single mother to a little boy that I love so much. I often tell myself I would give up things just to have full custody of him. Give up coffee for him, give up writing for him, give up music for him, and even would give up a kidney for him. I guess that defines a mother's love for her child.
I do writing for him actually. Back in my teens, beginning at age 12, I did writing as more of a hobby to release any imagination built up in my mind. But after he was born, it became more as a goal to be able to provide for my son and at the time, husband. Then the divorce happened, now it's more of a goal to get my books out there, sold, and then get full custody of my little boy and our own home.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I wrote the When The Dead Came books that are available through Amazon and Createspace... They are not selling like I had hoped, but I know it's because I don't think I wrote them good enough, so lately I have rewritten the first two books with more detailing and backgrounds of the characters.
I thought I would write this so everyone can have a better sense of who I am. Pretty much like a little biography of myself. Anyways, I am Comanche, that's my background. Have siblings I love and care for, have actually lost two back in 2014, neither of them had the chance to meet my son.
Guess it's obvious on Twitter that I like coffee. Probably along the borderline of addiction, but hey, it's better than other addictions. Only gave up coffee twice in my life: Once because my family was betting me that I couldn't go a month without coffee, and the other time was during my pregnancy.
The first story I wrote was a suspense, wrote it when I was 12 years old. After that, I began to write more, most being horror based. Anytime I try to write a comedy, it usually turns dark. I probably shouldn't attempt comedy.
Aside from writing, I have also tested my other talents. When I was seven or eight, I started creating my own cartoons, the main one being called Mike Stone (before I knew there was a Mike Stone in the band Queensryche). Then I started to learn music: Drums, xylophone, the recorder, acoustic guitar, and the bass guitar. Realized I have a nice hobby with knitting too. Mainly knit hats and scarves, but currently working on a blanket for my son. Also sewing.
Enjoy video games, love the Fallout series along with the Fable series, Left 4 Dead series, pretty much any game I can shoot on. Well, and the Sims games, mainly to test my skills at architecture, landscaping, and interior designing.
In 2007, I wrote When The Dead Came, but it actually started as a movie script I wrote. So was When The Dead Came 2 and Apocalypse World. Just like the book, When The Dead Came pretty much had the same characters as now. So it's always been Justin, Alex, Avery, Keith, Holly, and Jenny - the main characters. Back then, I had based it on a few dreams I had and turned them into a script. With a movie script, I will admit, I had certain actors in mind when I created the characters, at least in appearance.
The story changed a lot over time too. At least since I wrote them as a book series instead of movie scripts. Originally, I was going to add some romance between Avery and Alex, but then took that out and figured I would leave out romance, because it'd be a bit difficult to create something like that with someone else during a zombie apocalypse.
But lately, I have been thinking of adding it back in the series, as a way to enlighten the character stories just a little. In When The Dead Came 2, the first survivalist group is introduced as the SGO, Survivalist Group of Ohio, and they turn out to be a threat toward the main characters. The book ends with a bad note, where half the characters die and a mystery is resolved.
Then in Apocalypse World, you find out why Alex did what he did in When The Dead Came 2. You also hear about the group known as the SGC, Survivalist Group of California and get kind of a history about them from the character Seth.
Since my divorce, I didn't get the chance to publish the fourth book of the series because there isn't internet access where I'm at, and my laptop is still not working. But, since I have Microsoft Word on my phone, I have been typing it all out again and will publish it... Eventually. Currently, Apocalypse World is pretty much a cliffhanger right now.
For the series I have written over the years, I will tell you that after Apocalypse World, there is three more books to the series and only one isn't finished yet... I have too much time on my hands.
I don't think I'm a great writer, I actually think this series is better as a script I wrote years ago. But, I'm doing this for my son, Michael. And hopefully, it works out soon.

Ariana

P.S. Doing this blogging idea is simpler than explaining myself to others that ask about me. But also a decent way for me to share thoughts... I think a lot.