Exhausted

Hey everyone. Been awhile (again) and been trying hard. Probably too hard, exhausted and stressed out. Been writing nearly nonstop: Stories, poems, movie scripts, books. Pitching ideas to companies and agents. No responses (probably doesn't help with slow data, I don't get all my email). Severe insomnia, too much coffee. Tired of pushing myself so much. Need a change here. I want to get my own place, get my son. I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving and it causes depression like no other. Tired of my family getting mad at each other cause things don't go right. Tired of struggling with money and trying to keep groceries here. Then hear my mom bitch at us for no groceries or no money to pay the damn fucking bills. I'm tired of it all! Is writing even worth it when nothing comes of it? Sorry, stressed. Didn't even go to sleep til four or five this morning. Keeping trying to do writing and have privacy, but living with family after divorce, there is no privacy. Fuck. I really miss my son. I'll be happy when things work out finally and I can live in my own home with him. To hell with finding love, didn't work out the first four times, why would it again? Been asked out by guys out of state, but I'm not going anywhere without my little boy. There are days when I want to leave here, keep walking until I make it to the town where my son is just to spend some time with him. Work small jobs and sleep in the streets until I can get a place. That's how far I would go for him. Exhausted and ready to snap one day. When will things finally turn around? It's been a struggle for 26 years.

Love
Ariana